The Relationship between Inner Critic and Success

Imagine that you are already the best in whatever it is that you are doing then what would you have done in that situation? Believe. Because you already have it in you. Allow yourself to change your self image and beliefs. Marie Forleo

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are hesitant to hand in your completed project? Redoing and readjusting the whole project after finishing it? Procrastinating before you even start? The reason why this happens is because of something known as self-sabotage and imposterism. In our last blog we explored The Science behind the Inner Voice In this blog we will understand how our Inner Critic is preventing us from being successful and explore strategies successful people use to overcome this self-deprecating behaviour.

So, what exactly is self-sabotage? According to the Oxford dictionary, Sabotage means “to deliberately destroy, damage or hurt something”. So that obviously implies that “self”-sabotage would mean “to deliberately destroy, damage or obstruct ourselves”. Sounds pretty harsh and violent when we put it like that right? But that is exactly what your inner critic is doing to you. It is destroying your potential, damaging your self-confidence and obstructing your growth and success. It is the reason why you often procrastinate and avoid certain tasks even when we know that they are essential to get that high grade, that promotion or simply personal satisfaction. The reason why your Inner Critic does this to you is to keep you in your comfort zone. Our bodies are wired to keep us safe and comfortable so it will do everything to keep us in our safe-zones even if we are not in mortal danger. The harsh reality is that growth and success happen outside of our comfort zones. And the reason why most people fail to realize their full potential is because they let their Inner Critic lead their lives for them.

Imposterism is yet another explanation for this type of behaviour. First studied by Psychologist Pauline Rose Clance who along colleague Dr. Suzzane Imes established the presence of a ‘pervasive feeling of fraudulence’. This self induced notion that we lack talent, we lack the skills and that our work and ideas are not worthy of attention and praise. And that even if your work is recognized it was probably luck or a system error or the judging parties simply lost their minds. This phenomenon is not restricted to normal people like you and me, even highly qualified people like Maya Angelou and Albert Einstein have reported this feeling of fraudulence and felt that their work was not worthy of the attention and success.

Now that we know the science and psychology behind our Inner Critic. Let us explore ways of dealing with our Inner Critic and achieving growth and success despite it. After having read about the life stories of a number of successful entrepreneurs i.e., normal people like you and me who run successful businesses. There were a number of similarities in how they overcame their Inner Critic. Here is an overview for you.

1. Awareness

The first step of this process is to identify its presence. Accepting the fact that an inner voice exists and how you are talking to yourself is impacting your productivity is very essential. This will help you find the vocabulary you need to explain this and having a vocabulary to talk about something is often the starting point for change.

2. Comfort zone and fear

Next comes defining your comfort zone and fear. What this essentially does is it makes it clear for yourself the boundaries between your comfort zone and growth. In th e words of Albert Einstein -“A ship is always safe at the shore, but that is not what it is built for”. By understanding what your fears are and establishing the boundaries of your comfort zone you become free of its limitations.

3. Rewriting your story

What this means is that you have to start telling yourself new truths about your skills and capabilities. Instead of saying “I am terrible with houseplants”, start telling yourself and others that “I am great with houseplants and I am an awesome plant parent”. What this does is that it makes you believe that you have what it takes to keep a plant alive. By believing you are doing.

4. Building a new muscle memory

You now know that your inner critic exists and have understood your fears and limiting behaviours, what do you do next? You start building a new muscle memory. What this means is that every time your Inner Critic comes knocking, you have to gently nudge it out and remind yourself that you are capable, that you are worthy. This takes time and consistency. So far you have been constantly talking yourself down and it takes time for those neural networks to be replaced by new ones that will hype you up. So keep telling yourself your new story, everytime your Inner Critic shows up.

5. Understanding the ebbs and flows

Like the tides in the ocean, your progress will also ebb and flow. Some days it will be so easy and almost natural to believe in yourself, other days it will be easy to be self critical. Everytime you find yourself in a low phase. Just remind yourself that you are human too, that progress is always better than perfection and that consistency is key.

Your challenges are a test to see if you’re truly devoted and cut out for the life you say you want. Alivia D’Andrea

Mastering your Inner Critic is one such challenge. Are you ready to face this challenge? Are you ready to #growwiththeflow ?

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